3 weeks old: aunts, an uncle, a cousin, and a swing

We have had many visitors in Eloise's first three weeks of life, which truly makes us feel so loved and supported. I feel very fortunate to have such wonderful and caring friends and family in our lives. I'm highlighting some family visitors in this post.

Last weekend Evan's sister and Eloise's aunt Emily came down from Seattle. In addition to holding her for two hours straight she also brought a bunch of food for us to be able to grab and eat easily. What a lifesaver! And so yummy, too. A few days later and we've gobbled it all up. Aunt Emily also babysat Eloise for a bit so Evan and I could have a mini-date by ourselves and we got ice cream from Salt & Straw, the best ice cream in town. We both got our favorite: sea salt with caramel ribbon in a waffle cone. 

Evan, Aunt Emily, and Eloise

Yesterday my brother's family and Eloise's uncle Jay, aunt Leslie, and 14-year-old cousin Heath flew in from Illinois for a visit. They brought her some cute girly outfits and an awesome swing that she loves. Uncle Jay was the first one to hold her and she studied his face very carefully. I wondered if she saw a resemblance to her mommy. But then later she did the same thing to Aunt Leslie. Eloise cried in all of the adults' arms so Heath passed on holding her. After a bit we walked to Fifteenth Avenue Hophouse for dinner. They are very family-friendly and it was our second time going with Eloise. Evan carried Eloise in the Baby Bjorn front carrier this time instead of the stroller and she slept the whole time. He ate and drank beer over her with her strapped to him the entire time and was careful not to spill on her head. It's always stressful for me when we leave the house with her because we're still getting used to doing all the things we do at home in public: changing diapers, soothing her when she cries, and especially breastfeeding without flashing a boob or leaking milk everywhere. I know it will just take repetition and practice to get more comfortable. When we got home from dinner, we finally got Heath to hold her and she didn't cry at all! It was his very first time holding a baby and I can't wait to tell that to Eloise later in her life. How very special! 

Heath and Eloise

Jay, Leslie, and Heath are combining this trip with a family vacation over a week and a half and are now off to do some exploring of the Pacific Northwest for a few days. My mom, Grandma Zuber, will be flying in from Arizona on Tuesday so we'll all spend some time together again once she arrives. In the meantime, Grandma Harris will be coming up from Salem for her fourth visit with Eloise this weekend. It sure warms my heart to see Eloise so loved.

And finally, a video of Eloise breaking in her new swing:

2 weeks old: pediatrician & tummy time

Eloise is two weeks old today and this blog is turning into a photo journal of her first year. The photo above was taken when she was 8 days old. Here are a couple more of my favorites from that day:

I love the hilarious combination of the angel wings with her expression:

Eloise had her two week appointment with the pediatrician this week. He said she is healthy and perfect. But we already knew she was perfect. She gained 1/2 lb from birth weighing in at 7 lbs 4 oz, which puts her in the 33rd percentile for weight. She grew an inch since birth at 20.5" putting her at the 67th percentile for height. And, her head circumference grew 1/4" at 13.75" putting her in the 47th percentile for that measurement. She's doing a great job with nursing and growing! 

We also started doing daily tummy time this week to help her strengthen her neck muscles and avoid a flattened head from being on her back too much. We put her on her belly for as long as she'll take it, or until she's really not doing anything. Sometimes she seems perfectly content to be face down. Other times she'll get her legs going and grunt. And other times she'll figure out how to turn her head to one side and just put it down. Here's a video from yesterday:

https://vimeo.com/70579452

40 weeks: Eloise is here!!

Eloise decided to make her entrance into the world at 1:07 am on the Fourth of July, 2013! She weighed 6 lbs 11 oz and was 19.5" in length at birth. 

Contractions began about 7:00 AM on July 2nd and progressed throughout the day. I labored from home while Evan was at work using Hypnobirthing techniques I'd been studying. I knew I had a prenatal appointment scheduled for 4:15 PM, and I'd had a couple other episodes in the last couple weeks where contractions had started and fizzled out, so I didn't alert anyone to the contractions until the afternoon. I think it was around 1:00 PM when I called Evan and our doula, Carrie. By 3:00 my contractions had been about 5 minutes apart lasting a minute each for a couple hours, the guideline to head to labor and delivery, so I called to see if I should go to my appointment or head straight to L and D. I was advised to keep my appointment, so we loaded up the car with the hospital bag just in case and went to the appointment. By the time we arrived contractions were about 4 minutes apart and when I was checked I was dilated to 5 cm and in active labor. Our doula met us at labor and delivery about an hour later after we were settled into a room. The 33 hours between admission and delivering Eloise are a blur, but I labored with the support of Evan and the doula getting through each intensifying contraction one by one. My goal was a natural birth and we did things like breathing, relaxation, visualization, counter pressure, body positions, and the birthing tub. By noon the next day I was dilated to 9 cm, the very end of the transition phase of labor, pushing begins at 10 cm. Unfortunately that's where my labor stalled. Over the next 9-10 hours we tried several strategies including more body positions such as lunges, hands and knees, and swaying with Evan through contractions, breaking my amniotic sack, etc. Each time the midwife came back to check my progress we felt defeated to learn I was still stuck at 9 cm despite all the efforts. My labor was going "off the grid" long and once the amniotic sack is broken risk of infection becomes an issue. Additionally, my temperature was indeed running a little high during labor. Our next step was Pitocin, a medication designed to induce or speed up labor. Disappointing, but in the end all that was really important was a healthy baby Eloise. Around 10:00 PM I received an epidural prior to the administration of Pitocin. Due to my scoliosis (curvature of the spine), the anesthesiologist had two unsuccessful attempts at placing the line and called in a second anesthesiologist who eventually successfully placed the line. Pain relief was almost immediate and I was able to sleep an hour or so while the Pitocin was being administered. What a difference that made, I woke up to feeling like Eloise was about to come out and I had plenty of energy to push. After about an hour of pushing, out she came! Eloise was placed immediately on me skin-to-skin and I'll never forget the image of her little alert eyes and wiggling body coming into my arms as she wailed a beautiful wail! Magnificent is a word that comes to mind! 

We were left alone in the room for about an hour to soak it all in and revel in the presence of our baby, Eloise, who was finally with us. After the usual protocol of weighing and bathing, etc, we were all wheeled upstairs to our postpartum room where we spent the remainder of our stay. We felt very supported and cared for by all of the staff at the hospital. I ended up with a first degree tear requiring a few stitches and bled out about 2-3 times as much as I should have immediately following delivery which left me very anemic and requiring a little closer monitoring. Additionally, with all of the spinal punctures from trying to place the epidural line, I have been leaking spinal fluid which is not that dangerous but does cause an intense headache similar to a migraine. The pressure of the spinal fluid being off makes my brain sag down which causes pain. I have been on narcotic pain medication for the headache and hope to resolve the leak without further intervention. Caffeine, staying horizontal, and hydrating are all things we're trying first. Eloise has been breastfeeding like a pro and she barely lost any weight in the first two days! We got home Saturday around 4:00 PM and have been enjoying our time together, mostly just staring at Eloise. It's all about feeding, pooping, and sleeping. All of which are absolutely thrilling for us at this point! Our hearts are overflowing.

Five seconds after Eloise entered the world:

Getting weighed:

First bath:

Going home from the hospital:

39 weeks: the final countdown

Eloise is fully developed and will make her entrance any day now. Her hair is growing, her nails have probably grown past her fingertips, she's gaining weight, and her brain is adding neural connections.... just as would happen if she were on the outside. She's been head down for many weeks now and it's pretty easy to identify body parts pushing out of my belly. She feels huge.

I continue to have daily contractions but they don't progress. At our prenatal appointment last week we learned my cervix hadn't progressed since the week before but it is still dilated to 2cm and 80% effaced. Due to high Inhibin A levels, my OB wants to induce sometime between now and 40 weeks, so in the next week or so. I'm really on the fence about this because, as I'm sure is true for most women, I'd like to go into labor on my own. She offered to do a membrane sweep at my prenatal appointment tomorrow, which is the least risky and most natural form of induction. The procedure involves sweeping a finger around the inside of my cervix to separate the amniotic membrane from the uterus. She said with my "favorable cervix" there is a 50% chance I would go into labor in the next three days. If that doesn't work or I decide not to do it, she wants me to make an appointment for induction with Pitocin. I'm doing my best to avoid Pitocin due to the side effects and increased risk of c-section. If only I knew if/when I'd go into labor naturally, that would make the decision so easy! I've decided to wait until I'm in the exam room tomorrow and listen to my intuition in the moment. Evan said he supports whatever decision I make, however, he too prefers a natural birth.

I had a non-stress test and amniotic fluid check today. Eloise is less active these days but her heart rate is still good. Amniotic fluid is a little lower but still within the healthy range. An exciting experience at today's appointment was getting to see her practice breathing on the ultrasound! I saw her little ribs expanding and contracting as though she were breathing. The nurse said that's a good sign and earns her two points on her biophysical profile. That's my girl!

We're in the middle of a heat wave in Portland and it has been in the 90s. We don't have central air so Saturday we decided to head to the neighborhood Park and Rec pool for a while. Cool water + buoyancy = pure bliss. Each time I've gotten in a pool I feel Eloise moving and I imagine she's practicing her kicks in there. I also enjoyed a refreshing cherry slushy on the pool deck. It was a good day.

I'll end this post by sharing a photo of my point of view at the pool. I swear I'm wearing bikini bottoms but it's been a while since I've been able to see down there.

38 weeks: prodromal labor

Our OB estimates that Eloise is probably about 6.5 lbs right now, but we won't know for sure how much she weighs or how big she is until she is born. Her head is about the same circumference as her abdomen now. She's just putting on weight at this point, as she has been.

I just keep getting bigger and bigger as Eloise gets bigger and bigger. It's definitely crowded in there! I can't imagine what it would be like to have twins. I've gained about 35 lbs at this point. It's hard to maneuver around. Even just rolling over in bed is a feat. I'll never take it for granted again.

We've had another exciting week. Tuesday morning in the wee hours I had some contractions but they weren't very close together so I didn't time them. By the afternoon they had faded away. At our prenatal appointment the next day we learned I was dilated to 2 cm. My OB called it prodromal labor. Yet another term I'd never heard before. Apparently it's when you start labor, have uterine contractions that result in cervical dilation and thinning, and then it stops. It usually means that active labor is imminent, however, it can be hours or days or even weeks. Thursday I lost my mucus plug, yet another sign that labor is coming. By the way, don't search that term on Google Images. You'll be sorry. I have experienced prodromal labor two more times since Tuesday, and the last time my contractions were 4 minutes apart for a couple hours before fizzling out. After that time I was a physical and emotional wreck. It's exhausting and mentally defeating. How do you life your life like this? So I decided today to start my maternity leave tomorrow instead of in two weeks. There's no way I could sit with patients while having contractions every few minutes for hours. Especially not knowing if this time it's the real deal or if it'll fizzle out again. So I called HR and got the paperwork going today. It's a relief to know I can just hang out and wait now, and if I have contractions, no big deal whether they continue or fizzle out.

I had my weekly non-stress test and amniotic fluid index measurement today. Eloise is still doing well and there is plenty of amniotic fluid. The nurse said, "Well, you had a few contractions. Did you feel them?" Yes. And I'm not going to get my hopes up anymore! Tomorrow we have a routine prenatal appointment so we'll see if I'm any further dilated, effaced, or engaged. And even if I am, it doesn't predict when Eloise will be born. This has sure been a test of tolerating ambiguity!

I'd like to end this post with a quick shout out to Evan the wonder husband. He has really picked up the slack around here taking over grocery shopping, yard work, heavy lifting, and most everything that requires a lot of physical exertion. Thank goodness for him!

37 weeks: full term!!!

Today is an exciting day to celebrate -- we made it full term!!! Yippee!!!! Eloise can come on out whenever she's ready. Or maybe it's that my uterus will kick her out. Either way, she's fully developed, healthy, and good to go! That shirt no longer covers my belly. If you look closely you can see the maternity panel from my jean shorts sticking out below it. 

We're up to twice weekly appointments now. On Wednesday we had a visit with the OB and I got tested for Group B Strep, which I learned just the week before is done with two swabs: one vaginal, one rectal. It wasn't nearly as bad as I anticipated, just a quick howdy doody on the outside. If the test comes back positive then I'll have IV antibiotics when I get to the hospital in labor to protect Eloise. About 25% of pregnant women carry the bacteria and don't know it, it's not a big deal for adults but it can cause serious infection in newborns. I imagine I'll find out the results of that test at my next OB appointment this Wednesday. Last Wednesday my OB also performed an internal exam to check my cervix and we found out I was 80% effaced, Eloise was at -1 station, and I was not dilated. All of that really means nothing in terms of when I'll go into labor, but it does mean significant progress has been made. I think it's helpful to look at these things in pictures.

Effacement is thinning of the cervix. It's like Eloise is putting on a turtleneck. Last week we were 80% effaced, and at 100% effaced her head will be about to pop out of the turtleneck:

Station refers to the position of the baby in the pelvis and ranges from -5 (floating) to +5 (crowning/being born). It's also referred to as engagement. Last week Eloise was at -1 station, so just one station away from being in position to push:

And finally, dilation refers to the opening of the cervix. In most first time moms, effacement and engagement start before dilation. Last week I was not dilated at all. Pushing begins at 10 cm dilation. Here's a handy visual aid of what that looks like (PS - yikes!):

Today we had a non-stress test (NST) and ultrasound to measure the amniotic fluid index (AFI). It lasted about 45 minutes in total. We started with the ultrasound and looked at the amniotic fluid levels in four quadrants of my uterus to make sure there's enough, and thankfully there is. We also saw her sucking on her hand. And her head completely smashed against my cervix to the point that her chin is in her chest. It didn't look comfortable for her! But the nurse said that position is a good one. For the NST I had two monitors strapped to my belly for 25 minutes: one measured baby's heartbeat, the other measured my contractions and baby's movements. The hope is to see baby's heart rate increase with movement, and the decrease with rest. It did. We also saw (and I felt) a couple contractions. The nurse goes, "Those are the real deal." But, they're not regular yet like they would be if I were in labor. At this point they feel like mild menstrual cramps low in my abdomen and last about 40 seconds. The guideline for going to the hospital is the 5-1-1 rule: five minutes apart, lasting a minute each, and continuing in this pattern for at least an hour. 

Anyway, I'm eagerly anticipating her arrival and it's about all I think about these days. Baby, baby, baby. In addition to today's NST/AFI appointment, Wednesday we'll have another OB visit and cervical check, our preparation for childbirth class, and Friday a visit with our doula. With so much going on, it's hard not to be all baby all the time! Evan and I have both been hitting the Hypnobirthing book and practicing all the relaxation, breathing, and visualization techniques. Plan A is to have a medication-free birth and that is how I'm preparing. Of course, we have no idea how labor and delivery will go, so I'm also trying to keep an open mind and accept whatever happens. No matter what, this baby is coming out, and the birth will be a temporary experience that we will both recover from. And then we have our beautiful baby, Eloise!

36 weeks: nesting and shower photos

I think watermelon must be the produce reference from here on out. Nothing new happening with Eloise's development this week, she's continuing to gain weight at the rate of about an ounce a day. At the end of this week we'll be considered full term and she'll be perfectly safe to come out into the world.  Full term is considered anytime in the range of 37-42 weeks. I'd prefer she make her entrance on the front end.

I feel huge and uncomfortable 24/7. Contractions are more frequent every day but mostly not painful nor regular. Eloise seems to be pretty crowded in there as well. She's so big and powerful now with her movements that sometimes it feels like she's beating me up from the inside. The weight and low position of baby makes it hard to walk and it is more painful on my separated symphysis pubis now. My 10+ hour workdays are pure torture. I'm leaking fluids from several body parts. I haven't slept through the night in weeks. I just. Can't. Get. Comfortable. I cry almost daily like a lunatic. I guess this is the part of pregnancy that makes you ready for labor and delivery. Oh, I'm ready. I'd like to push the fast forward button and get to the part when Eloise is ready, too. Evan has a guess of a delivery date of June 28. I don't have a guess. I do, however, have a strong wish for June 18. Exactly 37 weeks.

Aside from the temporary discomforts of pregnancy, Evan and I are giddy with excitement to bring Eloise into the world and into our little family. I mean absolutely, over-the-top, kids on Christmas Eve excited. Evan is more involved with my belly than ever feeling Eloise's movements with awe, talking to her, singing to her. We're trying to freshen up on children's songs. Is it twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are or where you are? I imagine her little fingers wrapping around mine with her brand new fingernails, her little face making expressions I have never seen, her little legs kicking, her eyes taking it all in, getting to hear her voice for the very first time. And here's my daily cry kicking in. I can't fathom the possibility of loving her any more than I already do. She is so loved and so wanted.

In the last week or two I think my nesting instinct has kicked into overdrive. According to the Mayo Clinic, nesting is a primal instinct to clean and organize that can happen months before your due date but is usually strongest just before delivery. I feel like I just kicked into overdrive with preparations. I've done probably a dozen loads of laundry washing every stitch of baby clothing, bedding, boppy covers, changing pad covers, blankets, you name it. Basically anything that might touch baby has been washed, folded, and put away. Evan and I made a list of projects to complete around the house and almost all have been checked off - cleaning out the freezer, replacing the bathroom fan, unclogging a slow drain, buying a pressure washer and washing all the walkways and patio, installing power door locks, etc. I made a spendy trip to Babies 'R Us to stock up on the rest of the things we think we'll use immediately. I bought some toiletries and snacks from Target today to put in the hospital bag. We want to be ready for Eloise's arrival!

And finally, here's a handful of photos from the baby shower a week ago. First, here's me with my dear friend, Kellee. I bought and saved that dress just for the shower and loved it!

Erica and Terri put together quite the spread with a couple kinds of finger sandwiches, these AMAZING chopped chicken salad in pasta shells, sweet potato salad, veggies and spinach dip, a cake, and lots of tasty drink options. And, these adorable little bottle-shaped rice krispie treats!

 This picture shows some of the onesies we decorated hung by clothespins behind me. Love them!